attempts

I tried to hold my tongue
preventing it from lashing out at you in ten thousand forms of vulgarities.

your carelessness is often quite crippling.

but I love you,
and I try.

likewise I hope you’re trying as hard as I do.

strangely enough,
sometimes I worry about not giving you enough “face”.

to preserve the dignity of the husband in public
is what a wife should do. no?

but note that it is only in public
back at home, it is my call as usual. 🙂

and I am glad to be able to safely conclude that you don’t mind it.

iTunes churned out some lovely tunes for me tonight
that reminded me of you.
Of us.

it reinforces the fact that exists
and transcends through all circumstances

that I love you
and there’s no running away from that.
Ever.

I’d love to hate you, but I just can’t bring myself to it.

after three solid years of being your “bitch”,
I still have completely no idea what it is about you
that makes my heart do triple backflips when you smile at me.

it’s friggin corny and it makes me nauseous with its oldskool cliché-ness.
But I actually secretly enjoy the sensations.

hahaha
Shelly the walking irony.

but I love you lah
don’t doubt it, but please don’t abuse it either

I don’t know why or how
but many images of our beginnings have been flooding back to me

the scene by the beach
where you called me your “bitch”
in front of the guys =_=”

I didn’t get it then
and I still can’t say I get it fully now

“bitch” was supposed to be a term of endearment?!

then the late night drives
with my then-fave hip-hop R&B tunes

I know you were forced in a way to enjoy them 🙂

one day, one night
we should recreate all these

so that your short-term goldfish memory won’t forget them

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One thought on “attempts

  1. Hey Shelly,
    I remember you! But I don’t remember what went on between us already…*oops* Nothing THAT horrible I hope! Thanks for leaving that message, it’s nice to finally catch up with someone from Junyuan. Do u still keep in touch with anyone?

    Joanne

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