The radio is playing an endless stream of sappy love songs, and they make me miss you so much.
There’s obviously a love-hate relationship going on here, with the silently volatile ignorances then to the unexpected making out in the dark of our bedroom. It’s been more than three years with you, and I still have no idea if there’s more love or more hate going on here. But judging by our current state, I guess the love still wins hands down.
It’s strange being at my dad’s place without you. It’s strange coming home and you’re not here. It’s just… strange not having you around.
I last saw you at 8.24am. It’s 6.16am now, pushing 24 hours, and I am missing you BADLY. I think I can actually cry from it. Especially with the help from the radio station’s emo music selection.
I was recounting to MamaSan how when I first met you, I felt free to be who I wanted to be. And how safe I felt, when you did barely anything but just being there.
Remember when I told you that you make me want to run amok on wide open fields and roll around in the grass like a child? And you told me it’s because you make me feel safe enough to do anything I wish, thus giving me a sense of unbridled freedom?
I feel like that today. Right now. To run on some green field with you, hand in hand, laughing for no good reason except that we are so in love and so happy together.
Maybe one day we will do it together with Joshua. 🙂
Having you in my life brought me many many simple joys that I never could experience with others. You unwittingly instilled a different sense of self in me, just by being yourself (despite the asshole you can sometimes be) and being there for me through every single little shit I’ve ever had to go through.
I love you more than I ever know how to say or show it. And I never want you out of my life. Ever.
N.B. Although I may say otherwise when I’m fuming mad at your relentless recurring bad habits.