The hardest part

… about quitting smoking is not the post-meal smoke.

Nor the first cigarette of the day to wake you up from the grogginess of sleep.

Or how it’s almost unnatural to have coffee or alcohol without smoking.

The hardest part about quitting smoking is when you wake after 2 hours of totally crap sleep, unable to get back to sleep, and have to spend the quiet wee hours of the night alone.

To top it all off, your sex drive is in slight overdrive and your spouse is down with a bad bout of flu. (No, DIY just doesn’t cut it.)

So thus I succumbed.

And now I know the reason behind my chain-smoking nights.

Dead silent hours in the still hours of the night that start the brain into nostalgia-inducing thoughts. Experiencing the heartaches, memories, and reflections all over again.

That’s what keeps me going back. Back to the comforting habit of old.

Yah, I know. I lack perseverance and willpower. I always knew. But knowing, and being able to overcome it, are two separate matters.


3 thoughts on “The hardest part

  1. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I used to be on yoyo diets hopeing to be slimmer but in the end still succumbed lor… as long as I don’t look like a dinosaur can already, I stopped dieting completely!

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