So we spoke. Over several occasions. I got so emo when we were going through the pros and cons that my eyes turned red and wet. In that moment, I looked just like another emo drunk loitering in the Clarke Quay vicinity. Except I hadn’t had any alcohol (yet) and I was sipping my fave McCafe mocha at that point.
I didn’t want my child to grow up being forced to be outspoken because his voice was never heard being raised in a childcare environment. I didn’t want him to be withdrawn and another sheep part of the flock simply because the childcare “teacher” would be telling him what exactly what to do at what time. He wouldn’t be able to learn what to do with himself throughout the day if no one is there to tell him what to do.
Casting him into a group environment for entire weekdays would only work to mould him either way. I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions, but these situations tend to occur more often than others.
The only way to reduce the above scenarios, is if I raise the kids myself at home. That way, they will be heard, and given freewill, and never need to feel insecure about themselves.
And if I am to raise the children myself, it would be kinda stupid to go back to work for a year or so, only to return to my position as a stay-home mom once #2 comes along.
I’m not saying childcare is bad. It’s good if you need it. But we don’t really need it, do we? It’s great for single parents who definitely need to work. It’s great for half a day while you work part-time to top-up the family income. But whole days at the childcare when mommy doesn’t earn enough to do much simply doesn’t justify it.
Hubs said, “There needs to be a balance. If both of us are out working, there is no balance. No one’s at home to balance the home front.” And I couldn’t agree more. Despite our body decorations and alternative lifestyles, we’re actually very traditional when it comes to family matters.
So we arrived at a conclusion: I’m to continue life without contraceptives, and we’re gonna just… leave it to fate lah. He says he’s ready for another child, and the pros of having #2 and #1 close together outweighs the cons.
In any case, paying $20+ for a monthly prescription of The Pill, when we only have sex about once or twice a week, just does not make financial sense. Condoms are much cheaper at about $1 a pop, compared to the $2.50 (provided we have sex 8 times in that month) for Pills.
Then there’s the fact that I have to grapple with remembering to take the damned thing at the same time each day. Aiya, my memory just went to the dogs after I had Joshua. I was struggling trying to remember to take my pill all the time just months ago.
I think we need to stock up those cheap pregnancy kits by the dozens. I’ll probably be caught testing my pee each time my period is slightly late. HURHUR. But then again, I think I’ve been doing that all the time… 😆
Hubs now calls the period where my uhm… period is supposed to come as the “P”. “P” because it’s either your period comes, or you’re pregnant. Either ways, it starts with the letter P.