To set the record straight once and for all.

I never denied any of the namesakes that was bestowed upon me. I never denied doing any of those things she had said I had done. What I do revolt strongly against is how she hints I ill-treat my child by letting him sleep in the utility room. The wardrobe was here 9 months before the child was even conceived, go back and read my archives ok? πŸ˜• But I digress.

What I had clean forgotten about, was the one time when my marriage was “on hold” after our loss of Cedric in December 2005, and I had slept with another man. He had told me to “go find someone else during this time, and if it works out, we’ll write this all off.”

And how did I suddenly remember it again? Well, I was reading through my private blog in the midst of copying+pasting certain chunks to a girlfriend to read. She said those sexually explicit materials should really stay locked. πŸ˜†

Anyway, I digressed again.

This deal about my “hypocrisy” about me sleeping with another man and then claiming on some mutual friend’s blog that “love conquers all”… Love has conquered all, hasn’t it?

He knows about the one-time affair. He knows exactly how, why and when it happened. He forgave, and we started afresh. In fact, when I spoke to him about it just now, he told me he can’t remember anything about it. But moments later finally recalled the incident and agreed that he knew about it. (And even if he didn’t, reading this now would remind him again.)

So, who is this woman to come and call me a hypocrite when whatever that has happened between us as a married couple is all in the clear?

Am I hypocritical if I now say “love has conquered all”? Has it not? If it was not love that led us back together, and for me to come clean with him, and for him to forgive me and to admit his own mistakes, would we still be together?

C’mon now, people. Let’s be logical here. Which relationship is all peachy? Which relationship has no screw-ups?

The important lesson here is that our love proved stronger and we have forgiven each other and agreed to start afresh. It was months after we had got back together again that we decided we should try for a child, thus Joshua arrived.

Is that not love?

Also, please note that I went on a blog hiatus just before X’mas 2005. Too much was happening too fast and I simply couldn’t think straight. (I think Nadie remembers this very well because she was so upset when I stopped blogging. :mrgreen: ) It was the reason why these unpleasant marital details never made it public.

I also did not mention that I was certified depressed and on anti-depressants for a good two months. Although I did blog vaguely about it. Does that also make me a hypocrite? I still have the prescription with me if you want proof. :mrgreen:

If you would still like to call me a hypocrite, go right ahead. I have nothing to hide, but I also did not feel that this was information that should have been publicly shared with strangers. If you’ve been dying to know my dirt, this is it. Go knock yourselves out. You know who you are.

I can also safely say that those who should have known about this short stint of rockiness, already about it. One girlfriend very nicely accompanied my sobbing over the phone into the late of the night too. Thanks again, babe. My father said it’s a rough patch that will work out over time, or otherwise, just have to say good-bye and part amicably. He was also the one who came down to pick up the broken pieces (literally) in the late of night.

So what’s there to it about me? Nothing. I’m just another human who screws up, just like you. And my husband? He’s not perfect either.

Love simply conquered it all.

Regarding my so-called jealousy/enviousness towards my “victim’s” huge diamond ring/s, I thought everyone already knew long ago that I have bling envy towards every woman who has a huge rock. But there is certainly no need to pick on her just because she has a huge diamond, condo, wardrobe, etc. It’s simply because I can no longer stand her condescending and self-righteous attitude.

If I was to attack every woman who has a big rock, I would have attacked fitti a long time ago cos her pear-shaped diamond and her home are both gorgeous. πŸ˜†

I hope everyone realises that not every single detail of each blogger’s life is updated faithfully in their blogs. There is information that some wish to withhold, and sometimes there is so much happening around you that you can’t even find the time/energy/mood to blog. Don’t just blindly take sides with people based on what they write in their blogs. I’m not looking for supporters, I don’t need them. What I am trying to do here is to clear the air and appease all you KNN kaypoh chees out there.

This is supposed to be a relatively happy blog.Β  All the unhappy shit goes into a different blog. That’s the way I’ve been doing it since 2004 when I was using Blogspot. You still want to call me a hypocrite? Go right ahead and be my guest.

Feel free to comment. I’d love to hear what people have to say about marriages that have survived affairs.

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7 thoughts on “To set the record straight once and for all.

  1. There ARE marriages that have survived affairs. And if your hubby has already forgiven and forgotten about it, who is “Xtralicious” to say otherwise?? I’ve been a religious blogreader of yours for quite some time now, and I sometimes drop by XT’s blog as well. Although I feel you’re much more honest than her. You can say I’m playing favouritism. Haha. I suppose she’s just jealous that you’re in a healthy relationship with Nash, while she had a disastrous one which ended in divorce. And she accuses you of putting everyone else in the world down just by saying “I’m the luckiest woman in the world because…”. Hello? EVERYONE feels that way at SOME point of their lives. SHE does it TOO. Really. Pot calling kettle black INDEED.

    shell says: Thank you for being so logical about it! πŸ™‚

    Yes, I agree everyone has moments where they feel they are the luckiest person in the world. What particularly spurred on that post of mine was the fact that Uncle Henry bought me clothes even though he always says I have too much already and always tsk-tsks when I buy clothes. πŸ˜†

  2. She just edited her post to remove any mention of the screen caps. I think it’s obvious whose conscience is not clear. Enuff said.

  3. It is brave of you to actually write this post with what really happened last time, private private things that you shouldn’t be obgliged to show anyone or explain to anyone. At all. This shows that you really has nothing to hide, you just have a choice not to tell the whole friggin world. In this aspect, the other party has already failed and lost a thousand times worse, because she crossed the basic boundaries of privacy and trust. Just that alone will not justify any explanation she can come up with, no matter how logical she sound. Because there is nothing lower than that act of pingback-ing to someone’s private post. Imagine the hurt and horror of the blog owner, the fear of harsh judgement of assuming strangers?

  4. I have always thought that cheating is wrong. But time, experience and exposure to different settings has made me a lot more understanding of the motives and consequently less quick to judge and write someone off as a result of it.

    At the end of the day though, the only person whose judgement you should care about, apart from your own, is Nash’s. And he’s still with you isn’t he? And for someone to put all that hurt aside and move ahead is truly an indicator of the love you two share.

    I think it’s disgusting how she’s linked to your private blog and dredged up your personal affairs when I presume that this has nothing to do with whatever it is you’re both feuding about.

    And I think she knows she’s done wrong, seeing how she’s decided to protect her posts now and removed her mention of screenshots. She’s obviously very concious of her image and wants to project herself as the good guy – unfortunately, the self-inflicted damage has already been done.

    shell says: I presume she just wanted to prove her point that I am “hypocritical”. Except I guess she doesn’t understand that there is no need for any blogger to publish ALL details of their lives.

    So… do you still lub me?!? Hahahahaha :p You come back, we go SG Flyer together!

  5. of course i still lub you much much.

    but i’ll love you more if you throw in some ben and jerrys. lmao.

    shell says: I’d mail it to you, but I think it’ll be all melted by the time it reaches you. πŸ˜† Buy you a few pints when you come back lor. I promise. But you must come and claim it from me. Hee hee.

  6. What did I miss out man?

    Heh…

    So having an affair, that Nash got over, makes your love fake?

    And if Nash is ok with it, why does she care?

    Hmmm..Scratch head….

    Cheem…

    shell says: I still don’t really understand also. πŸ˜† But, whatever lah. What you been doing?! Why you disappear for so long? Very busy in new job huh?

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