As I was tossing in my bed, trying to fall asleep amidst the heat, a thought hit me so hard that I had to get out of whatever little comfort my air-conditioner was providing just to note it down.
What do we need friends for?
Toss the age-old saying of “joy is doubled and sorrow halved when shared”. Toxic friends half your joy and double your sorrow instead, by dampening your happy moments and adding oil to fire when you’re upset.
What I suddenly realised is that friends are here for you to learn contentment.
Think about it:
Before you contemplate changing your job because it’s not “what you’re looking for”, what about that friend of yours who has been conscientiously going for job interviews but just never lands anything at all even though he’s not picky?
How bad can your sore neck and stiff muscles be when you compare it to that secondary school mate you knew before who got suddenly got a stroke in his teens?
In my current situation, I should have the least to complain about.
- I have an adorable son who is generally well-behaved, meanwhile I hear parents all over the world screaming about the sleepless nights and loss of freedom their babies bring.
- I have a husband who never complains about my flaws as if he was blind to them. But I hear friends complain about their insensitive partners and how they etc etc etc. I won’t give a flying fuck to holidaying at some exotic location if it means living most part of my life with an asshole and putting up with his bullshit. It’s just not a worthy trade-off.
- Fashion-wise, as I whine about how I don’t have a bag to match a certain outfit, I know people who barely match anything 90% of the time because they just don’t have the budget to be fashion-conscious. What they own is what is practical, and that’s about it.
- And while I pout about not having what I want to eat, some people never get what they want in so many aspects of their lives that… what the hell do I have to complain about?! (Ok, there’s a separate explanation for why they don’t get what they want, but let’s not get into that right now.) Well, I could look at a friend’s friend who loves eating shellfish but breaks out in an ugly and itchy rash each time she consumes them. Poor dear.
- Money is never enough (who has enough?) but it’s easy to make that one grow or just even fall from the sky. 😉 I know people who have less and oddly theirs never grows at all.
There’s always someone we know — 2nd-degree, 3rd-degree, whatever — who is in a worse place than we are, some of it being permanent even. It’s just a matter of matching things up.
To twist things around a little (as I always do), I am so not fat. I’ve always been proportionate and generally maintain an hour-glass figure even if it isn’t your typical 36-24-36. I’ve known women were born (and bred) into a square figure that no amount of diet would ever change.
Hell yeah, I’m lucky.
I realise this post may not be very…logical. But WTH, it’s 5am now and I am super duper woozy liao. I just needed to jot it down somehow and typing is so much faster than writing.
Disclaimer (borrowed from Cakie): If you think I’m referring to you in any of the examples above, then it’s you lah. I am so sick of people thinking I am talking about them when I’m not, so if you think it’s you then it’s you, okay? 😕