I was flipping the November issue of Motherhood, and came across this article highlighting the (supposed) top 8 things that one should NOT say to a pregnant woman. Given the slight spike in local birth rates, I thought it would be “nice” of me to share the info with some of my personal views on them:
8) “Geez, it’s not fair that guys can’t experience the joys of giving birth.”
No comments. Not as exasperating as what the other statements can do.
7) “Are you still pregnant?” (This should rank at least #2 on the list, IMO.)
Totally deadly to a woman who has just given birth and my personal Achilles Heel. I swear if I hear this again after delivering Baby #2, I will pummel the ignoramus with a jackhammer. Regardless of what Hollywood starlets look like immediately after birth, we do not all have nutritionists, personal trainers and a lifetime supply of SPANX.
6) “Can I rub your tummy?”
The answer is no. Unless you will allow me to poke your eye. Particularly crazy if it comes from a complete stranger.
5) “My, what big feet you have!”
Only touchy if the woman has naturally big feet that is further enlarged by water retention.
4) “Wow! You sure are fat!”
Hubbies who say this should be prepared to keep his dick away in the safe for the next three years. He will probably not have any use for it for a long long time. 😆 Friends who say it should be prepared to never hear from the woman again until she has given birth and lost all the weight. Personally, I have gotten to so used to hearing how “fat” I am that I don’t really feel anything anymore.
3) “For some reason, I find that you’re not as much fun as you once were.”
You wouldn’t be much fun either if you were permanently lugging around a watermelon, feeling nauseous during every waking moment, and possibly suffering from constipation, water retention, hormonal imbalance, mood swings, excessive gas, indigestion, heartburn, backache, sore tits/nipples, headaches, cramps, loss of appetite. Just to name a few.
2) “I never had morning sickness.”
Once again, where’s the sensitivity?!? *bitchslaps idiots with smelly wet trout*
1) “You’re so small! Are you sure you’re not starving your baby?”
Sensitivity, people! Pregnant women are ticking human bombs! What are you insinuating with that comment? That she is a bad mother?! *bitchslaps again* On a personal note, I have never this one coming at me before, and I don’t think I ever will.
I don’t think the supposed #1 garners as many aggravated responses as, let’s say, #4 or #6. But then again, I don’t presume the writer has been pregnant before.
(Sidenote: It is actually quite shocking that many writers of a certain genre actually don’t have much idea of what they are writing about. For example: A writer assigned to do music reviews may often have no idea what Trance, Folk or Indie music are. Likewise, writers of parenting magazines may not be parents, so they don’t really have first-hand experience on what it’s about.)
What I feel should be included in the list of things not to say, are:
3) “When are you due?”
Especially irritating when the curiosity is being exhibited in the same person more than twice. Seriously, if you have short-term memory, jot it down somewhere. If you don’t remember because you can’t really be bothered to remember, then maybe you should even bother asking in the first place.
2) “Do you think your baby can come a few days/weeks earlier/later?”
If I knew, I’d either be famous psychic or a highly sought-after medical professional. 😕
1) “Is it a boy or a girl?”
Most often asked by strangers or people whom you sorta know but are totally not close to. Each time I get very tempted to bark back,“And what business is it of yours?!” If you are asking out of pure kaypoh-ness (which at least 80% of the time it is), then please buzz off. If you are asking because you intend to get a gender-specific gift for the baby, then it means you would be a family friend and thus you would definitely be informed once the parents find out the gender for themselves.
Asking about the baby’s gender incessantly doesn’t mean you are concerned for the mother/baby/family, it just means you are KAYPOH. If you truly concerned, you would ask how the mother is feeling/coping, how the pregnancy is progressing, and how the baby is growing. NOT THE GENDER.
Until the day gender can determine the health of an unborn baby, asking this question does NOT quantify as “care and concern”.
This is my TOP “Do Not Ask A Preggy Woman” statement because it actually pissed me off so much that I blogged about my frustrations and garnered some totally uncalled for responses from some idiots. Which of course thereafter I had a very good laugh and musings at them idiots.
Come Baby #2, regardless of the “experience” I have had with Joshua, I think would still combust if I hear this question thrown to me every few hours by various people that I have no need to report to.