I have a confession.

I have been staying up late almost every night, adding maternity apparel into the carts at various online stores.

Just now I was at ASOS browsing maternity wear and adding (sales) items into my cart. I contemplated submitting my order to an ASOS spree I saw earlier, but until now am still contemplating. They have quite a few designs of maternity jeans going for £18 only! Yes, everything so pretty and I sibei gian. 😦

Then I went browsing at several local maternity fashion stores, and was appalled by the ugly websites, distorted images due to bad sizing, horrid navigation and not very appealing prices for ugly clothing. YUCK!

And obviously I still have this huge issue with the “petite” sizing that so many of the local maternity range offer.

After that I went to Belly Dance Maternity – one of my favourite haunts even prior to getting pregnant – to “look see”. OMG. So pretty, so nice, so affordable, I so gian. 😦

And as always (like the cheapo I am), I head to the “outlet” section to see how awfully affordable the pretty preggy-clothes are, and then pummel myself against my keyboard (metaphorically speaking of course) because I just can’t make myself pay anything for more transitional clothes.

This is a rant, and you have been warned. Even if you stop reading here, you will have pretty much gotten the gist of my rant.

It’s hard to make myself feel good when I am getting so cheebye-ly auntie about buying suitable pretty clothing to pamper myself. I don’t know. I would love to splash out on a whole wardrobe of flattering comfortable clothing for watermelon women, but… it’s so temporal! Only 9 months right??

Yeah, right. I’m 12 weeks 3 days pregnant today and it already feels like it’s been forever. 😦

If I could, I would even want to buy maternity sleepwear. Everything I put on nowadays feel so… cramped and restrictive. I didn’t feel that way when I had Joshua, so I could survive with buying barely any maternity wear. I still can recall how some had questioned why I was always wearing the same thing, and I had to tell them it’s cos I didn’t buy any maternity wear and was surviving on a few measly pieces. 😆

I had gotten so sick of wearing and re-wearing those clothes, I believe I have not touched them since he was born. Now I have to dig out whatever little maternity wear I had kept from last time, and the sight of them already makes me want to hurl.

I keep telling myself that the baby will be out before you know it, but time seems to just drag along at a snail’s pace. Which is uber KNNCCB.

So basically I feel I look like crap everyday, which makes me FEEL like crap everyday. To be honest, I can’t recall the last time I received a compliment from Hubs. When grilled, he says he does tell me I’m pretty when I’m dressed up, but my life doesn’t give me much reason to dress up, does it?

Therefore I dress in home clothes everyday – which are now mostly ill-fitting and uncomfortable – and thus gaining me no compliments whatsoever. Give me some reason to dress up! Wait, I take that back. I don’t think I have any nice dress-up clothes that would house my tummy comfortably.

It’s enough to make me want to hide in a hole until the baby is ready to be born.

I am an ugly, fat, hormonally imbalanced, bloated, watermelon of a woman. Oh, and I have ugly short hair too. 😦

Just kill me now.

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