When everything fails…

I thought I would be damn happy when I got pregnant; and I was for the first couple of weeks.

But somewhere before CNY, it started to go wrong. I wasn’t excited about buying new clothes. The sight of food nauseated me. There was just nothing that would cheer me up.

While blogging, I could at least muster up the “joy” to use some cutesy emoticons that were supposed to reflect how I felt. But like how most people aren’t really laughing when they type “hahaha”, neither was I as cheerful as what the emoticons depicted.

Last night I walked into my wardrobe and saw the few new pieces of maternity wear that I had kept to wear on my birthday. I felt nothing. Instead of the old me who would be rubbing her hands in glee at the thought of having more new clothes at my disposal, I just felt empty.

There was simply no joy in anything anymore.

So I kept googling “feeling lousy when pregnant” with barely any results, until last night when Hubs told me he thinks I could be having pregnancy induced depression.

I pretty much fit the symptoms checklist to a T.

So there you have it. Nothing’s changed in my life but I just keep feeling that my life sucks and there is nothing for me to feel thankful about.

And no, I really don’t think it’s a temporal hormonal thing. Because preggos who temporarily feel down still have their up moments. I’ve not had an up moment for weeks.

This sucks.

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