To my narcissistic firstborn:

I hope, one day, you will grow up and understand that I cannot possibly photograph or video you if you insist that I show you what is being captured in real time.

You can either cooperate and put up your best performance, wait until I’m done, then review what I’ve captured. Or you can keep trying to get behind the camera and be appalled that you are no longer in the frame.

All this is seriously frustrating for the videographer – me. *pukes a puddle of blood*

And just in case you didn’t know, you have a mild case of performance anxiety. Suddenly once the camera is switched on, you no longer can differentiate your eyes from your ears.

Tsk tsk tsk.

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