People have always said the sad eventuality of all marriages is that it loses the spark and starts getting stale after a few years. And while the romantic in me refuses to believe in that, it is hard to overlook the fact that there has been marked reduction in passion and “sparks”. In exchange, what we get is an increased amount of stability (which can be easily mistaken for routine) and a decreased number of disagreements.
Sure, one could argue that there are less disagreements because neither one partner could be bothered to fight any more losing battles. But that’s hardly the case, given the fact that I’m not exactly someone who would swallow her feelings and not make it heard.
Somehow, kisses and hugs get replaced by a lazy “put my head on your shoulder while watching TV”, and “getting to know you” chats now mostly revolve around the daily humdrum of work and children. Being “madly in love” had quietly been replaced with “I love”.
My marriage is now akin to… a glass of water – bland, but 100% healthy and always guaranteed to quench a thirst.
I still haven’t figured out if it’s a bad thing or not, since this is my first (and hopefully only) marriage. Although I must admit I enjoy the stability and trust of it all – how there were zero doubts of him hooking up with some foreign chick while he was flying around for work. It was a state of paranoia that I could never shake off in my previous relationships and having 100% trust in him is so liberating.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want that spark back.
My attempts to bring back the “zing” brought me solutions such as taking a second honeymoon, dumping the kids somewhere while we “reconnect and rediscover” each other. Unfortunately, that solution holds no ground in my world. A couple weeks back, I was discussing with airpork about getting a room in a scenic local hotel for a romantic night away, and we were happily planning until something hit her and she said: “Ooi, then your boys how?!”
Hmm. Good question. I have no idea either. Needless to say, the plans have been shelved.
While I continue to pride myself on being presentable (and hopefully attractive) for the Hubs, I realise it probably isn’t enough to keep the attention level high. Not with 2 kids running amok in the house screaming at each other, depleting our energy and interest levels.
You know, in a warped way, maybe we just need to have a big huge fight to spice things up a bit. Except… there’s nothing much to fight about. Everything’s just going so well.
Women – difficult species to please.