Head space.

Isn’t it strange that people tend to feel like they’re doing too much, but never notice when they’re doing too little? A few months back, I was hardly lifting a finger on the housework, leaving Hubs to do almost everything. (I’d admit it was quite a comfortable position to be in.)

Since there’s no such thing as a free meal in this world, it was natural that we got to that situation because there had been a trade off. One that I had been trying to reverse for years without much success. So I decided to give it another whirl, and gave myself a month to do what I didn’t like in a bid to get back what I did like. It’s been slightly more than a month now, and it hasn’t paid off.

In fact, in the worst possible manner, I found myself doing more and more of what I didn’t like and getting none of what I did like. Obviously unfruitful.

So… here’s telling myself that I’m not going to try anymore. I don’t give a shit about the “unforeseen circumstances” that popped up. All I see is that what I need wasn’t given, and there weren’t any apologies nor sincerity. Enough of the excuses. I’m not going to go at this any longer. I’m tired of spinning around in circles going nowhere. I’m sick of swallowing my unhappiness. (It’s probably why my gut is getting bigger with each passing day.)

I have an infamous lack of patience, and it’s not going to extend beyond what it already has. I shouldn’t bother to care when no one else does. If anyone wants a change, don’t expect me to be the one doing anything.

Game over.

 

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