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Lisa and I have a morning routine of making a bottle of formula milk together. And recently it’s somehow turned into a calling for the devil…

Me: How many spoons of milk powder?
Lisa: Six!
Me: One…
Lisa: One…
Me: Two…
Lisa: Two…
Me: Three…
Lisa: Six…
Me: Four…
Lisa: Six!
Me: Five…
Lisa: Six! Six!
Me: Six! Last one!
Lisa: Yay! SIX SIX SIX! Now shake shake. *mimics bottle shaking*

*sigh* Guess someone really needs to not get ahead of herself at counting.

 

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Death is too harsh a punishment.

While watching a short bit of “Alien VS Predator”…

Kee: Why the guy roll and roll?
Josh: He die already lah! The alien kill him!
Kee: Why kill the guy? He bad guy??
Josh: Because the guy burn the alien with fire mah! Make the alien angry, so take knife and kill the guy!
Kee: Ooooh. Then die (al)ready must roll and roll on the floor like that?
Josh: Only sometimes lah. Sometimes just lie there and never move already.
Me: Next time when you’re naughty, I’ll take the kitchen knife and kill you, then you see if you’ll roll around or not lor.
Kee: I DUNWAN!!!
Josh: Mom, just cane or smack us ok. No need to kill us with knife. Tsk.

 

Fake is better than none.

Kee: Mommy!! Can call daddy?
Me: No. Daddy is working.
Kee: It’s ok, korkor can help me call. *snorts in my face*

Kee: Korkor! I want you help call daddy!
Josh: Cannot lah. I’m eating and daddy is very busy today.
Kee: Whyyyyyyyyy?!? I want call daddy!
Josh: You go pretend lor. Take the toy phone, go pretend.

*Kee picks up toy phone, presses a few buttons, puts phone to ear*

“Hello? Daddy? I want you come back. Yah. Ok, bye!”

Triumphantly declares: “I call daddy (al)ready. You all naughty! Daddy come back cane you!”

Seriously?? WHATEVERRRRR.

Why is mom going for elect C-sec?

Apparently my impending C-sec is a pre-bedtime topic for the boys…

Kee: Becaaaaause the mommy go open the tummy.
Josh: Why mommy open the tummy?
Kee: Becaaaaause the baby is tired. cannot coming. must open the tummy.
Josh: Nooo it’s because baby is too big cannot come out.
Kee: Noooo it’s becaaaaause the baby is coming. baby is tired. no energy come out.

*repeat whole conversation above 20 times*

Pearls by swine.

On a trip to savour smelly beancurd:
“Wah! This smells like poop! But ok, lucky don’t taste like poop. WHEW. Please put more sweet sauce for me hor.”

On being introduced to cotton candy:
“Mommy, what is this ah? Is it candy? Because candy is goooood.”

On thirst, spicy foods and other causes for need of water:
“Wah, this is very [insert appropriate term here]. I need a cold drink. I think water is not good enough.”

On his choice of music:
“I like the monkey song [The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars], everyday I’m shuffling [LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem] and Justin Bieber. Oh, and Lady Gaga RaRaRa Ah Ah [Bad Romance] and Bring it back, sing it back [Moloko – Bring It Back].”

Mad for a sister.

Joshua has been asking for a younger sister for a few months now. So about two weeks ago, I said we’ll talk about it when he’s 8 and able to help out with a new kid in the family. I also told him that he would have to clean, feed and pacify the baby. He would need to make milk, change dirty poop diapers and bathe her. All of which he readily agreed to take on!

Earlier tonight when I was showering him, he asked me why I rub his head when I shampoo him. After I told him the reason, he replied: “Next time when I’m 8 I will help meimei shower like that also.” 

Besides trying to scare him off with baby caring duties, I also quoted him recent examples of him being a terrible older brother – snatching toys from Kee, initiating fights, throwing tantrums and other undesirable behaviour that Kee is now emulating. So for the past 2 weeks, he displayed a significant change in behaviour.  Whenever Kee tries to snatch Josh’s toys, Josh would give in and tell him stuff like “Later you give me back ok?” instead of screaming like a little banshee. Josh also stopped saying “I beat you!” or “Smack you!” as an anger response, but instead says “Stop it.” or “Give me back, please.” Josh also has been giving in to Kee in many ways like sharing that last chocolate cookie, offering (and helping to feed Kee) his milk, as well as giving more hugs and kisses to Kee.

In fact, whenever Kee snatches Josh’s toys and brings it back in a few minutes, Josh would say: “Thank you didi. You are SO nice. I want to kiss you leh.” And he proceeds to hug and kiss Kee – much to Kee’s delight, actually.

Josh has also started to “police” Kee by telling him to go wash his dirty hands, brush his teeth, and to go to sleep. And it’s not just empty talk! He sets a good example by doing it himself and helping Kee do it.

With all that effort he’s been putting in, I’m guessing he is really intent on having a baby sister and is trying to prove to us that he can be a good korkor!

But our stance remains the same: We’ll discuss again when he is 8. Even if he can cope with the baby caring, I can’t cope with another screaming little child at this moment!

 

The Waiting Game.

Josh was trying to delay bedtime again last night, so he said to the helper: “Auntie Joy, are you going to shower now? I wait for you to go bedtime together ok?”

Joy: “I still have to wash these things, then shower, then let my hair dry before I can sleep. You go first lah!”

Josh: “It’s ok. I can wait.”

Joy: “No need lah. You go first. Faster. I will take very long.”

Josh: “It’s ok. I like waiting.

Joy: “Aiyah, you go now before mommy get angry ah!”

Josh: “Aiyah ok lah. Good night.”

Never in my life have I heard someone who likes waiting. Apparently now I have one of those rare breeds as my son. (Yeah right.)

Where’s Daddy?

After the continuous number of weeks that Hubs has been coming home late, I was wondering aloud to myself: “Why is Daddy so late? Why is he not home yet!” 

Josh replied: “Because Daddy always walk very slow, that’s why he’s very late lor!” 

My attempts to correct him that it is because Daddy is very busy turned out futile. He insisted it is because Daddy is slow at doing everything.

For once, someone is actually supporting my statement – and insistently as well – that Hubs is a slow poke!

Act your age, Mama.

The weather has been awfully cold for a tropical country recently, so I took the opportunity to whip out some stuff that I haven’t been able to wear.

Josh came home from school today and exclaimed (a bit too loudly) upon seeing my outfit: “Mummy! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!”

“Erm… I’m wearing a romper?” [Ed: Technically jumpsuit, but honestly makes no difference to me since you have to take it off all the way to pee anyway. Same difference.]

“Why are you wearing romper?! Rompers are for BABIES. Mummy, you go wear pants like adult ok. Don’t wear rompers lah.”

You know what? I actually think he’s right. 😆