Almost 7.

Maybe I was never shown nor taught the right thing from a young age, but now that I have almost everything it suddenly becomes clear what is priceless.

Not the diamond ring I never got.
Not the lavish wedding reception we didn’t have.
Not the gifts you couldn’t afford to get.

What I now find invaluable and precious would have made me scoff at its insignificance years ago:

How you force your eyes open despite tiredness to give me a massage.
How you voluntarily take on more than you should just to make sure I live comfortably.
How you tell me that loving me is your privilege when I mostly feel nothing more than a leech growing little leeches within me.

I only wish for you to know how wonderful you have been to me, and how privileged I am to have you.

While I used to like change so that things will always stay fresh and exciting, you have been the one constant in my life – never forsaking me. And you are the one constant that I wish to always have in my life.

I love you.

幸福

“嫁给你是我的幸福。”

“可以照顾你和爱你是我的幸福。”

On the last day of 2011…

I slept most of the day away. (It’s a weekly thing required by my pregnancy, apparently. Like how I get cramps all day long each Wednesday.)

The boys was in a lot of trouble for not needing their naps, using their bedroom door as a train door and fighting constantly.

Joshua redeemed both of them when he followed the usual daily routine and showered Keegan and himself – on their own accord – at 8pm sharp. Daddy sauntered out of our room to find a clean towel-dried Keegan loitering outside their bathroom, and Josh toweling himself dry too. Both boys were squeaky clean (no sign of suds on their body!) and the bathroom had not been destroyed nor defaced.

I am amazed that my 4-year-old can take up the responsibility of showering his 2-year-old brother. Much less without any prompting from us. Seems like 2012 is going to be a great year full of love, joy and the usual sibling bickering!

Potty Training. Again.

The downside to having more than one child is that you have to go through potty training for each one. It doesn’t make it easier or less messy, you just learn when is best to start and how best to go through it. For me, this means several things:

1. Do not attempt when child is too lazy to even walk to get his water bottle.
2. Recommended not to attempt when child is unable to communicate needs.
3. Let them wear comfy thin cotton shorts – easy for you to wash, easy for them to access (probably only applies to boys).
4. Prepare tons of paper towels and small plastic bags for clean-ups.
5. Keep the floor free from clutter. You really wouldn’t want pee (or worse, poop) on your things.
6. Remind child to go toilet every so often. (This time, it’s about 1.5 hrs per reminder for Kee. Josh had to be asked every hour.)
7. When accidents happen, appear nonchalant and remind them to go toilet next time. For stubborn kids who are able but forgetful, display slight annoyance.
8. Cause discomfort by washing up child with cold water to deter recurrence. (This is purely because I’m a psychotic mom.)
9. Do not offer treats/rewards for going to the toilet. Peeing in the correct place is a GIVEN. It should not need to be rewarded. (Yes I am a nasty mom too.)

We are halfway into the first day of things, and so far the score is:

Floor – 2 
Potty – 0 

Despite being able to tell me “pee pee must go toilet”, Kee insists on coming to bug me and yelling “I want bear bear candy!!” both times when he needed to pee. I have yet to figure out why.

Come to think of it, Josh was fully pee-trained at the age of 2, just before Kee was born… And he couldn’t even speak yet! Kee has some serious catching up to do!

 

Dear Unborn

Despite not being prepared for your conception, Daddy was extremely happy (and might I add, somewhat cocky) when we found out.

Please be a pretty, independent baby girl with lovely hair like your 二哥 and a sweet disposition like your 大哥.

Please also remember that while I may curse and swear about being pregnant (again), it is nothing personal and I will still love you as much as your two brothers if not more – just because you will definitely look cuter than them and not start talking back for at least a year or two. If you do turn out to a heterosexual girl, the pains and perils of pregnancy may just present themselves to you at the right time.

Until we see your cute little face, here’s Mommy telling you to grow well, be well and we’ll see you soon. Love you! <3

The new old path.

“Nothing endures but change.”
~ Heraclitus

 

If only I could just snap into getting the hang of each change.
If only I didn’t need to waste at least one sleepless night each time just to brace myself for it.

If only I was just stronger, and more courageous.

But I will be, one day, by the grace of God. Soon.

 

The multi-talented mom

After my first fairly successful foray into the world of baking, I am hereby classifying myself as a multi-talented mom. Hereby listed are my “talents”:
- cooking
- baking
- cleaning (and organising freak)
- dancing – choreographed and spontaneous, decent and dirty
- singing
- playing the piano (and recorder)
- writing
- interior designing and decorating
- too tech-savvy for a girl
- handywoman
- smart shopper
- fashion savvy
- baby whisperer
- cat and dog whisperer
- part psychic
- oral sex extraodinaire (for males only)
- speaks English, mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien and a smattering of Teochew

Now the only thing I gotta learn is how to draw and paint…

The Colour of Blue

Blue, they say, is not a colour that suits me. Yet having almost everything falling into place seems to have no effect. Unexplainably despaired, with a similarly unknown sense of loss.

My mind – and my heart – seems to have lost the plot somehow. Problem is, I don’t even really know what the plot was to begin with. It just seemed like there had always been a path that I had to take by default.

Maybe we were never meant to take charge of our own destiny in the first place.

And if only I knew what was wrong with me.

 

This home.

Beautiful
not because of what it has
but who lives
in it

Wonderful
not because of how we have
but how life will be
designed here

A sanctuary
where we do not sweat the small stuff
yet appreciate all little things
in joyful spirit

This home
where we will love
and we will live
blissfully ever after

Thank you Lord
for the love
wisdom and everything
bestowed upon us

 

Hell’s Kitchen

Despite not being one who enjoys cooking, I seem to have earned the chef’s honor. Today, Josh asked if I could cook mixed vegetables (peas, corn, carrot) with butter because he was “soooo hungry”. As I was defrosting the frozen veges, Kee had to come along and declare: “Kee Kee want!” I ended up cooking with a spoon cos I had packed away all the cooking utensils.

Next thing you know, they’ll be asking for dinners that take 3 hours to prepare and homemade desserts.

So much for pre-packaged healthy snacks for convenience.